我又到回来了，可以说我是无事不登三宝殿吧，如果不是憋的辛苦也不会来这里发泄。
好吧，就说说到底是什么事令到我emo吧～
朋友篇：
话说下星期五，20/09/2013约了朋友和她男朋友，还有我们这里两个一起到Bali 旅行，
想必应该很开心，但在安排方面出现了一些意见分歧，搞得双方男朋友都不爽了，也搞到他们那一对因为一些问题一直吵架。
现在说真，我也不懂可以说什么了，也不敢说些什么，
对这个旅行也没什么期待了，但愿两个大男人见到面不会“擦出火花搞到不欢而散就谢天谢地了...”
自己篇：
对吧，又是我有心事了。不用说，又是家庭和学业。虽说我上次很潇洒的停学了，一句话也没多说，跟男友跑到新加坡做工赚新币，当然，朋友和亲戚方面也没多少个知道这件事。（可以说是隐居了吧）
虽说时间可以冲淡一切，但对我来说这句话好像是没作用。每当我在面子书看到同学去哪里实习，有关学业之类的话题都会引起我的注意，然而就想起有的没的，越想就越低落，越想就越不服气。
就前几天看到我之前护理系的学哥学姐终于毕业了，带四方帽，我真的真的很难过。无论什么时刻，一想起就眼泪流不停。为什么我就想想别人那样好好读书都不行，我知道家里经济负担不起，我很努力的向教育部申请贷款，也很努力自己去做part-time来赚零用钱等等。我都很努力的靠自己好让在学业上不让你们操心，为什么同时也要把家里的负担放在我身上？我真的很辛苦，我受不了了，我也是一名学生，还是一个没有学位的学生。每当我想起这个就忍不住眼泪了，对，我很爱哭，就是为了一点小事都会哭的女生。
好，我放弃了，我去工作。我一心以为只要爸爸的公司没事了我就可以读回书了，但事实上告诉我是错的，我又失望了。来新加坡工作也已经一年了，在加上之前的一年，整整两年我爸的公司都没发过薪金。试想想，一个月没发薪金都已经很难熬了，何况是两年多？！！
他老板在做什么？我爸说的是真话吗？我不懂，也已经不想懂了。如果有人要我体谅他老板，那谁来体谅我们的心情？！
事实上我就是向政府借了一笔钱来到最后一无所有的人，我可以说什么？
我想读书，
真的很想读书．
不想就这样遗憾一辈子．．．
Showing posts with label ღ Moody Yee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ღ Moody Yee. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
少说话，多做事
今天跟你说了我做工的事
得不到你的安慰，反而被你说我怎么什么事都往身上扛？
我听到了觉得很不是滋味～
心想，我想的吗？我也很累啊~
顿时觉得很委屈，不想再继续讲了～
我学会了，
我不会再向你说有关工作的事了～ =(
得不到你的安慰，反而被你说我怎么什么事都往身上扛？
我听到了觉得很不是滋味～
心想，我想的吗？我也很累啊~
顿时觉得很委屈，不想再继续讲了～
我学会了，
我不会再向你说有关工作的事了～ =(
Friday, June 15, 2012
不开心了。=（
很多时候我不喜欢投诉来投诉去，
因为我不想那么多事。
也就是像其他人说的什么事都放在心里。
可以的话，我是希望可以大事化小、小事化无；
但一旦我投诉的来，我就会越来越厌恶...
所以为了避免这样的事发生，
很多事情我尽可能可以忍就忍、可以忘记就忘记、可以不说就不说，
免得越来越多误会或不爽发生。
有时我真的很不喜欢你跟我说话的语气，
每当你说了我之后，
我就会当下很没有mood的感觉，
生气吗？不爽吗？无奈吗？无言以对吗？都有...
你每次都说不喜欢看到我愁眉苦脸的样子，喜欢看我时常笑的样子。。
但你懂不懂我不开心的原因？
我不说是因为我怕我会忍不住当你的面前哭起来，
也有些是因为你的关系，我不想说的那么明白令任何一个不开心，
所以我才会不想说。
就像你昨晚突然对我说的那句话，
我当下很错愕，也没想到你会对我说这句话，
顿时什么mood真的没有了，
或许你会觉得我很记仇，
但我偏偏就是很在意这句话，
我几时不体谅你了，我几时闹过你、勉强过你为我做你不想做的事了？
如果是这样那我就再也不要吵你了。。。
你知道吗？
“有时候语言比拳头更伤人”
这句话是真的。
因为我不想那么多事。
也就是像其他人说的什么事都放在心里。
可以的话，我是希望可以大事化小、小事化无；
但一旦我投诉的来，我就会越来越厌恶...
所以为了避免这样的事发生，
很多事情我尽可能可以忍就忍、可以忘记就忘记、可以不说就不说，
免得越来越多误会或不爽发生。
有时我真的很不喜欢你跟我说话的语气，
每当你说了我之后，
我就会当下很没有mood的感觉，
生气吗？不爽吗？无奈吗？无言以对吗？都有...
你每次都说不喜欢看到我愁眉苦脸的样子，喜欢看我时常笑的样子。。
但你懂不懂我不开心的原因？
我不说是因为我怕我会忍不住当你的面前哭起来，
也有些是因为你的关系，我不想说的那么明白令任何一个不开心，
所以我才会不想说。
就像你昨晚突然对我说的那句话，
我当下很错愕，也没想到你会对我说这句话，
顿时什么mood真的没有了，
或许你会觉得我很记仇，
但我偏偏就是很在意这句话，
我几时不体谅你了，我几时闹过你、勉强过你为我做你不想做的事了？
如果是这样那我就再也不要吵你了。。。
你知道吗？
“有时候语言比拳头更伤人”
这句话是真的。
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
怎么办？
从我开始实习那天开始，
我就开始发现我越来越不平衡。
不知怎的，就开始想放弃了。
没错，我曾经是喜欢过它，
觉得以后可以学以致用我感到很伟大，很有成就感。
但现在，我越来越觉得不对劲了，
我开始厌倦了，也开始发现到这个中我接收不到的缺点，
第一，我不喜欢不定时的工作时间；
第二，感觉上越来越多人看不好份工；
然而要命的是这些都不是重点，
最主要的是将来，这份工工资对我将来来说可说是入不敷出，
有人大概帮我统计过，如果我日后工资是两千多，
我既要还贷款的钱，也给家用，然而在扣除我的生活费，
我已经没什么钱剩了，更甭说存钱买车，日后结婚组织家庭的钱。
光想到日后的生活，我就开始感到害怕。
就算现在也好不到哪里去，
没错，我的学费是不用烦了，因为我有贷款，
但可笑的是，我的贷款既要还我的学费，也要津贴一些家里费用，
感到用处很广是不是？想到都觉得可笑，
我还跟别人说如果不是贷款我早就生存不到了。
现在还好，只是我一直又一直的支出，
再满的水缸也会有缺水的一天，
那我接下来最后那学期的钱怎么办？
我又怎样一口气吐出我用了那么大数目的钱来还学费呢？
我一旦选定了的事可以很不顾一切的做，
也会很固执的忽视别人的说法，
就像我决定了要修读这课程，除了吓到很多朋友之外，也有很多人不鼓励我进这一行，
因为毕竟工钱少而又不被看好，总而言之就像别人说的没前途“钱途”。
然而我却一直告诉自己要凡是都往好方面想，船到桥头自然直，就可以了。
直到现在我越来越把持不住了。
就算我现在想要放弃也做不出决定，
我觉得很矛盾，也有些不舍得，
也要顾虑到很多事情，不是说想放就放。
好的就说我是经过深思熟虑，不好听的我就是婆婆妈妈。
我真的好想找个人陪，找个人聊，
就算不说话都无所谓，
我只是很不想一个人 =(
无论如何，只要我做得出决定的，
就一定是最后决定，
不会再改变的了！
我就开始发现我越来越不平衡。
不知怎的，就开始想放弃了。
没错，我曾经是喜欢过它，
觉得以后可以学以致用我感到很伟大，很有成就感。
但现在，我越来越觉得不对劲了，
我开始厌倦了，也开始发现到这个中我接收不到的缺点，
第一，我不喜欢不定时的工作时间；
第二，感觉上越来越多人看不好份工；
然而要命的是这些都不是重点，
最主要的是将来，这份工工资对我将来来说可说是入不敷出，
有人大概帮我统计过，如果我日后工资是两千多，
我既要还贷款的钱，也给家用，然而在扣除我的生活费，
我已经没什么钱剩了，更甭说存钱买车，日后结婚组织家庭的钱。
光想到日后的生活，我就开始感到害怕。
就算现在也好不到哪里去，
没错，我的学费是不用烦了，因为我有贷款，
但可笑的是，我的贷款既要还我的学费，也要津贴一些家里费用，
感到用处很广是不是？想到都觉得可笑，
我还跟别人说如果不是贷款我早就生存不到了。
现在还好，只是我一直又一直的支出，
再满的水缸也会有缺水的一天，
那我接下来最后那学期的钱怎么办？
我又怎样一口气吐出我用了那么大数目的钱来还学费呢？
我一旦选定了的事可以很不顾一切的做，
也会很固执的忽视别人的说法，
就像我决定了要修读这课程，除了吓到很多朋友之外，也有很多人不鼓励我进这一行，
因为毕竟工钱少而又不被看好，总而言之就像别人说的没
然而我却一直告诉自己要凡是都往好方面想，船到桥头自然直，就可以了。
直到现在我越来越把持不住了。
就算我现在想要放弃也做不出决定，
我觉得很矛盾，也有些不舍得，
也要顾虑到很多事情，不是说想放就放。
好的就说我是经过深思熟虑，不好听的我就是婆婆妈妈。
我真的好想找个人陪，找个人聊，
就算不说话都无所谓，
我只是很不想一个人 =(
无论如何，只要我做得出决定的，
就一定是最后决定，
不会再改变的了！
Monday, February 27, 2012
I dislike the way you talk to me
How many times I feel like to say this.
I think it's almost every time we have some argument,
and after that sure I feel bad in mood then cry~
After cry then tell myself it will alright soon when talk nicer to him later..
Somehow, every time no matter how I feel bad, sad, unhappy after the argument,
I will choose act like nothing after that and find you back.
Because I don't feel like to quarrel with you just because of this.
I thought it may reduce the chance of quarrel or any unhappiness between us~
who knows it's just my thought,
and it just make you more unhappy,
some more you think that I'm not care you as you care me.
You dislike that I just keep quiet when we have some argument;
You dislike that I didn't say something good to coax you back when you're angry/unhappy after the argument;
You dislike that I act like nothing as normal after the argument.
Therefore you said that I didn't care you.
But then did you think that, do you accept what I said during the argument?
Okay, I admitted that it's my fault I didn't coax you back after the argument,
because I also don't feel good and unhappy after that.
some more I don't know what to said.
I thought that find you and chat properly when you feel better after this.
And it might be nicer...
But seem like you dislike it too.
Of course I will angry and sad on what did you said;
Of course I care what did you think~
Just that sometimes I really don't know how to talk to you~
Just now, you make me really feel unhappy~
And finally I show it to you too.
You know why?
As what I wanted to say it out for long time ago and finally I did told you just now
"I DISLIKE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME" and "IT'S REALLY HURT ME" =(
I think it's almost every time we have some argument,
and after that sure I feel bad in mood then cry~
After cry then tell myself it will alright soon when talk nicer to him later..
Somehow, every time no matter how I feel bad, sad, unhappy after the argument,
I will choose act like nothing after that and find you back.
Because I don't feel like to quarrel with you just because of this.
I thought it may reduce the chance of quarrel or any unhappiness between us~
who knows it's just my thought,
and it just make you more unhappy,
some more you think that I'm not care you as you care me.
You dislike that I just keep quiet when we have some argument;
You dislike that I didn't say something good to coax you back when you're angry/unhappy after the argument;
You dislike that I act like nothing as normal after the argument.
Therefore you said that I didn't care you.
But then did you think that, do you accept what I said during the argument?
Okay, I admitted that it's my fault I didn't coax you back after the argument,
because I also don't feel good and unhappy after that.
some more I don't know what to said.
I thought that find you and chat properly when you feel better after this.
And it might be nicer...
But seem like you dislike it too.
Of course I will angry and sad on what did you said;
Of course I care what did you think~
Just that sometimes I really don't know how to talk to you~
Just now, you make me really feel unhappy~
And finally I show it to you too.
You know why?
As what I wanted to say it out for long time ago and finally I did told you just now
"I DISLIKE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME" and "IT'S REALLY HURT ME" =(
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Feel bad in mood.. =(
Yesterday when I having my 1st lecture class in morning..
suddenly my phone rang~ (luckily I put it in silent mode, if not~~)
after that followed by a message~
I'm wonder who will call me at this early morning.
It's him? I think impossible, because he need to work at this period of time.
Family? maybe.. Friends? Who else?
Keep on guessing during the whole class~
After the class over, quickly take out the phone,
saw a message and miss call from him~
What I saw in the message is he get into an accident!
Ha fall down from the motorcycle while going to work!
Then I quickly call him back~
And keep on asking how's with him~ bla bla bla~
I don't even remember what I have been ask..
Just know that luckily he get injured with his right hand and leg..
Overall the most importantly is he's still alright...
After that, just know that all my study mood gone and become very very bad in mood..=(
Feel like to go back and see him immediately if I'm able to do so.
But then I know I can't..
Still remember that it's so difficult for me to stay at uni for whole day long.
Somemore the next day was valentine's day...
All mood gone.. realize that it's not important whether how he celebrate with me during the valentine's day as long as I hope that he's safe all the time..
At night he show me the picture of his injured hand..
Although it's not serious and worst as I think..
But I'm sad and unhappy coz can't with him when the time he need me.
Anyway, thanks god for blessing him and hope that all his bad luck over after this.
suddenly my phone rang~ (luckily I put it in silent mode, if not~~)
after that followed by a message~
I'm wonder who will call me at this early morning.
It's him? I think impossible, because he need to work at this period of time.
Family? maybe.. Friends? Who else?
Keep on guessing during the whole class~
After the class over, quickly take out the phone,
saw a message and miss call from him~
What I saw in the message is he get into an accident!
Ha fall down from the motorcycle while going to work!
Then I quickly call him back~
And keep on asking how's with him~ bla bla bla~
I don't even remember what I have been ask..
Just know that luckily he get injured with his right hand and leg..
Overall the most importantly is he's still alright...
After that, just know that all my study mood gone and become very very bad in mood..=(
Feel like to go back and see him immediately if I'm able to do so.
But then I know I can't..
Still remember that it's so difficult for me to stay at uni for whole day long.
Somemore the next day was valentine's day...
All mood gone.. realize that it's not important whether how he celebrate with me during the valentine's day as long as I hope that he's safe all the time..
At night he show me the picture of his injured hand..
Although it's not serious and worst as I think..
But I'm sad and unhappy coz can't with him when the time he need me.
Anyway, thanks god for blessing him and hope that all his bad luck over after this.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Emo Again =(
Finally I have start my Semester 2 in IMU on 16th January..
Sounds so frustration that I suppose start my degree life for 1 and the half year and now only in Semester 2. ==
Well, it's suppose a more challenging life than in Semester 1..
Actually these few days I seriously tired + stress + frustration + ..... anyway it can considered as COMPLICATED minded again!
Tired is due to I have to took few hours on travelling go and back from uni.. since my classes almost everyday start from 8am or 9am like that TIL 5pm!
So you can imagine how is the condition of packing with other peoples inside the train and how does it getting worst especially when the train was delay...... T_T
Well, suppose these few days I'm very very unhappy~
Got lots of thing happened on~
First is I found that I've lost interest on study anymore...
I don't know is me think too much or it's too long time I didn't touch my book or what..
Even myself also don't know how to describe~
I just feel like to work and earn money and it might be a better way for me and even my family..
Plus I totally can't imagine about my future~
I started to understand how's some people feel when they took the course that they're not interested in~
I scared that I unable keep up with progress in learning~
What I think now is even in sem 2 also feel that, then what about the following sem I need to go through??
Sounds irony right?
Okay, no matter how I know that I need to continue~
Maybe I need time to adapt with that and hope so it's just a temporarily minded.
Second is my dear said he might not came to house on today.
He told me 2 days ago. But he said will still find me on wednesday night.
Seriously I got bit disappointed.
Because I still need to wait for few more days only can see him.=(
But I just can act like nothing and said "okay okay, no problem, as long as you okay with that. =)"
Then today when he call me,
and don't really forget what I've said, (just some kidding as I remember)
he got bit unhappy with that and said want to go sleep.
Suppose I don't feel like to end-up the call so fast..
but no matter how I coax him he just said don't want and want to sleep already..
Like that I really don't know what I can said to him anymore.
So I just can said bye bye to him.
Actually from here I got bit unhappy and frustation.
What I can think is just maybe he too tired so he want to sleep!
Normally when he slept in the afternoon he can sleep for 3 hours like that.
but today after 1 hour he woke up and sms me.
I asked him why so fast get awake, and he just said because I bully him, he feel unhappy so he can't sleep.
LOL~ after that don't know it's me think too much again or what.
Feel like his reply just short and nothing to say to me only.
Aiks.. again..
Sometimes I really don't know what I've said and make him feel unhappy.
I really hate of my stupid!!! =(
But luckily normally this won't lasts for few days,
normally the next day like that will be alright.
Although like that, but it also make me think much for whole night.
I really dislike this feeling. =''''''''''''''''(
Grrr... I don't want emo come to me again!
What I can do now??? =(
Sounds so frustration that I suppose start my degree life for 1 and the half year and now only in Semester 2. ==
Well, it's suppose a more challenging life than in Semester 1..
Actually these few days I seriously tired + stress + frustration + ..... anyway it can considered as COMPLICATED minded again!
Tired is due to I have to took few hours on travelling go and back from uni.. since my classes almost everyday start from 8am or 9am like that TIL 5pm!
So you can imagine how is the condition of packing with other peoples inside the train and how does it getting worst especially when the train was delay...... T_T
Well, suppose these few days I'm very very unhappy~
Got lots of thing happened on~
First is I found that I've lost interest on study anymore...
I don't know is me think too much or it's too long time I didn't touch my book or what..
Even myself also don't know how to describe~
I just feel like to work and earn money and it might be a better way for me and even my family..
Plus I totally can't imagine about my future~
I started to understand how's some people feel when they took the course that they're not interested in~
I scared that I unable keep up with progress in learning~
What I think now is even in sem 2 also feel that, then what about the following sem I need to go through??
Sounds irony right?
Okay, no matter how I know that I need to continue~
Maybe I need time to adapt with that and hope so it's just a temporarily minded.
Second is my dear said he might not came to house on today.
He told me 2 days ago. But he said will still find me on wednesday night.
Seriously I got bit disappointed.
Because I still need to wait for few more days only can see him.=(
But I just can act like nothing and said "okay okay, no problem, as long as you okay with that. =)"
Then today when he call me,
and don't really forget what I've said, (just some kidding as I remember)
he got bit unhappy with that and said want to go sleep.
Suppose I don't feel like to end-up the call so fast..
but no matter how I coax him he just said don't want and want to sleep already..
Like that I really don't know what I can said to him anymore.
So I just can said bye bye to him.
Actually from here I got bit unhappy and frustation.
What I can think is just maybe he too tired so he want to sleep!
Normally when he slept in the afternoon he can sleep for 3 hours like that.
but today after 1 hour he woke up and sms me.
I asked him why so fast get awake, and he just said because I bully him, he feel unhappy so he can't sleep.
LOL~ after that don't know it's me think too much again or what.
Feel like his reply just short and nothing to say to me only.
Aiks.. again..
Sometimes I really don't know what I've said and make him feel unhappy.
I really hate of my stupid!!! =(
But luckily normally this won't lasts for few days,
normally the next day like that will be alright.
Although like that, but it also make me think much for whole night.
I really dislike this feeling. =''''''''''''''''(
Grrr... I don't want emo come to me again!
What I can do now??? =(
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Bye..
I have to said bye to my coursemates due to the mistake that I did on my EOS exam and re-sit...
Because of the mistake,
=> I spent around RM500 for the re-sit fees..
=> I cried for the whole day since I unable and don't know how to accept the truth..
=> I need to said bye to my course mates, I have unable to continue with them in the journey anymore..
=> I have to re-start for beginning again.. just because of ONE subject.
=> I don't know what I should do now..
=> I don't know whether I should continue or not..
=> I need to spend more no matter money and time than others..
=> and a lots I don't know how to describe here..
Just I feel like I'm very very useless..
although my parents didn't blame on me, but still encourage me to start from beginning..
but I unable to forgive myself..
I seriously hope that I may pass..
I really did put lot of efforts on preparing the paper..
I really tried my whole best to put in all the answer that I remembered..
I really thought at least I can get pass..
But the truth told me that I'm failed...
Such a big joke on me..
When I think back and look back on the notes,
I found out I missed out lot of main points and did lot of spelling mistakes on the paper..
I feel like I'm really useless enough..
WHY I BECOME SO CARELESS?!
What I do now is just know to cry, stare blankly, think and doing nothing...
Although now I'm not crying anymore,
but when the school day coming near, I just can cry...
because I knew that I was unable to continue with my course mates anymore...
and this is the truth happen on me currently!
Even my colleague saw me also keep on asking me why my eyes become swelling..
Who can teach me how to answer?!
Now I have to understand,
course mate become my senior, and my future junior become my course mate..
WHat to do?!!!
Because of the mistake,
=> I spent around RM500 for the re-sit fees..
=> I cried for the whole day since I unable and don't know how to accept the truth..
=> I need to said bye to my course mates, I have unable to continue with them in the journey anymore..
=> I have to re-start for beginning again.. just because of ONE subject.
=> I don't know what I should do now..
=> I don't know whether I should continue or not..
=> I need to spend more no matter money and time than others..
=> and a lots I don't know how to describe here..
Just I feel like I'm very very useless..
although my parents didn't blame on me, but still encourage me to start from beginning..
but I unable to forgive myself..
I seriously hope that I may pass..
I really did put lot of efforts on preparing the paper..
I really tried my whole best to put in all the answer that I remembered..
I really thought at least I can get pass..
But the truth told me that I'm failed...
Such a big joke on me..
When I think back and look back on the notes,
I found out I missed out lot of main points and did lot of spelling mistakes on the paper..
I feel like I'm really useless enough..
WHY I BECOME SO CARELESS?!
What I do now is just know to cry, stare blankly, think and doing nothing...
Although now I'm not crying anymore,
but when the school day coming near, I just can cry...
because I knew that I was unable to continue with my course mates anymore...
and this is the truth happen on me currently!
Even my colleague saw me also keep on asking me why my eyes become swelling..
Who can teach me how to answer?!
Now I have to understand,
course mate become my senior, and my future junior become my course mate..
WHat to do?!!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
心情复杂的一天
今早一早考完试后，
其实应该是松了一口很大的气，
毕竟终于考完了，
问题其实还好，
不会很简单，就幸好有准备到，
应该比上次还好一些而已，
因为起码我还想到东西写进纸上。
目前，该烦恼的应该还是成绩，
虽然我没有遗漏任何一题，但毕竟有一些答案我还是不肯定的，
所以就很担心......
第二，应该只是一个小问题，
对我应该也不会有很大的影响，只是......我也不懂怎么说。
起初我收到一个男同事的短讯，希望我考试顺利，
我当下只是想到的有两个：怎么用英语祝我啊？（当然我的意思不是说他连一些英语也不会啦，只是我们之间交谈都是习惯于华语）
然而就是:怎么突然那么好啊？也很意外，过后就谢谢他咯。
但是回复却令我当下愣了一下，原来是我朋友用他的手机来传短讯给我。
我当时第一个反应就是：庆幸我刚刚没乱写些什么，不然岂不是尴尬死？
虽然我也不会写些什么不见得光的秘密，但毕竟对待每个朋友的方式，
无论是交谈还是对待态度都是不一样的...
明明以为是那个人，但到后来才发觉原来是另一个人，感觉不会很怪吗？
再说，你也不懂对方会不会以你们的交谈当话题......我知道她不是这样的人啦，但......就心里始终会觉得很奇怪咯.......
所以说，通常在用别人电话传短讯时，习惯上都会表明自己的身份，免得别人的误会，不是吗？
再说，当你在跟一个不是用着自己电话的人传短讯时，都会有所保留吧~
感觉就是.....我也不懂怎么形容这件事~唉......
第三，就是一个最令我光火的，同时也发飚！
话说晚上七点我帮我妈接我表弟和妹放学，因为刚补完习嘛......
Metro prima那里通常这个时候都会很塞车的......
Flat 那里有停满了车，心想没办法了，就只好停在路边等他们下来吧，
我是自认没阻碍到交通啦，但这时在塞车期间，竟然有一辆警车从我车旁走过，
还按喇叭示意我把车驾走，那我就只好假装出信号灯要走咯，
刚好有红灯了，所以我也出不去，就一直赖在那里吧~
好不容易看到警车开走了，那我也不用把车移开咯，因为我一旦移开就必须绕一个大圈回到原位。但心还是会担心警车倒回来吧~
我想打给表弟他们，但又担心他们在上着课，就为由继续耐心等待咯。
没多久， 我就看到他们两个出来了，但就一直谈天，而且他们前面还停着一辆车，所以就没留意到我啦……
我就想到打电话给他们，怎知各别打了一通电话给他们，他们还是没留意到，还一直在高谈阔论。
我这一边就着急得如热锅上的蚂蚁，一直在想着怎样才能吸引到他们注意力，按喇叭吗？他们一定是以为是别人按的，毕竟那里那么多车；派人下车叫他们吗？车上又只有我一个人；下车吗？我怕阻碍到别人，毕竟我是停在路边......
在无计可施之下，我惟有立刻管掉汽车引挚，立刻跑下车过去喊他们吧~怎知就在我也匆匆忙忙过马路时，竟没留意到有辆摩托向我的方向驶来，就差那么一点就被他撞到...
说真的，我当时也吓了一跳。
幸好最后也没事啦，但这令到我更为光火，我过到去一见到他们就直接对着他们大骂一顿！！！
我知道我是有点过火，但当时我真的是气到出烟！连他们那么多学生同时放学之中，我也认出他们两个；他们就看不到我的车吗？！
哼，他们要讨厌我就讨厌够吧！我也很生气！什们心情也没有啦！哼！=(
其实应该是松了一口很大的气，
毕竟终于考完了，
问题其实还好，
不会很简单，就幸好有准备到，
应该比上次还好一些而已，
因为起码我还想到东西写进纸上。
目前，该烦恼的应该还是成绩，
虽然我没有遗漏任何一题，但毕竟有一些答案我还是不肯定的，
所以就很担心......
第二，应该只是一个小问题，
对我应该也不会有很大的影响，只是......我也不懂怎么说。
起初我收到一个男同事的短讯，希望我考试顺利，
我当下只是想到的有两个：怎么用英语祝我啊？（当然我的意思不是说他连一些英语也不会啦，只是我们之间交谈都是习惯于华语）
然而就是:怎么突然那么好啊？也很意外，过后就谢谢他咯。
但是回复却令我当下愣了一下，原来是我朋友用他的手机来传短讯给我。
我当时第一个反应就是：庆幸我刚刚没乱写些什么，不然岂不是尴尬死？
虽然我也不会写些什么不见得光的秘密，但毕竟对待每个朋友的方式，
无论是交谈还是对待态度都是不一样的...
明明以为是那个人，但到后来才发觉原来是另一个人，感觉不会很怪吗？
再说，你也不懂对方会不会以你们的交谈当话题......我知道她不是这样的人啦，但......就心里始终会觉得很奇怪咯.......
所以说，通常在用别人电话传短讯时，习惯上都会表明自己的身份，免得别人的误会，不是吗？
再说，当你在跟一个不是用着自己电话的人传短讯时，都会有所保留吧~
感觉就是.....我也不懂怎么形容这件事~唉......
第三，就是一个最令我光火的，同时也发飚！
话说晚上七点我帮我妈接我表弟和妹放学，因为刚补完习嘛......
Metro prima那里通常这个时候都会很塞车的......
Flat 那里有停满了车，心想没办法了，就只好停在路边等他们下来吧，
我是自认没阻碍到交通啦，但这时在塞车期间，竟然有一辆警车从我车旁走过，
还按喇叭示意我把车驾走，那我就只好假装出信号灯要走咯，
刚好有红灯了，所以我也出不去，就一直赖在那里吧~
好不容易看到警车开走了，那我也不用把车移开咯，因为我一旦移开就必须绕一个大圈回到原位。但心还是会担心警车倒回来吧~
我想打给表弟他们，但又担心他们在上着课，就为由继续耐心等待咯。
没多久， 我就看到他们两个出来了，但就一直谈天，而且他们前面还停着一辆车，所以就没留意到我啦……
我就想到打电话给他们，怎知各别打了一通电话给他们，他们还是没留意到，还一直在高谈阔论。
我这一边就着急得如热锅上的蚂蚁，一直在想着怎样才能吸引到他们注意力，按喇叭吗？他们一定是以为是别人按的，毕竟那里那么多车；派人下车叫他们吗？车上又只有我一个人；下车吗？我怕阻碍到别人，毕竟我是停在路边......
在无计可施之下，我惟有立刻管掉汽车引挚，立刻跑下车过去喊他们吧~怎知就在我也匆匆忙忙过马路时，竟没留意到有辆摩托向我的方向驶来，就差那么一点就被他撞到...
说真的，我当时也吓了一跳。
幸好最后也没事啦，但这令到我更为光火，我过到去一见到他们就直接对着他们大骂一顿！！！
我知道我是有点过火，但当时我真的是气到出烟！连他们那么多学生同时放学之中，我也认出他们两个；他们就看不到我的车吗？！
哼，他们要讨厌我就讨厌够吧！我也很生气！什们心情也没有啦！哼！=(
Friday, December 24, 2010
Useless me...
Today is christmas eve..
and yea, suppose to be happy..
yet I'm already try to leave all those unhappy things at side...
yup, seriously don't know why these few days feel kinda stresses!
even I don't understand why those unhappy or unlucky things keep on looking for me?! =/
No matter how those stresses keep on coming near to me,
I just be quiet and moody only,
I will try to tell myself not to cry,
must hold, and all will be alright later...
who knows, my boss today coming back from trip,
once he arrived he direct call and ask me how about these few days during working..
at starting I still act like nothing happened and feel happy when heard he was back,
when he ask me about working, I just keep quiet on the other side..
and yea he told me he roughly know what had happened on me,
because his wife has told him a bit before that when she saw what status that I've posted on FB..
He understand I might not be convenient to talk lots in phone,
so that he said will call me later,
ask me don't feel unhappy...
Who knows, after put down the phone,
my tears come out from eye suddenly
Ishhhh, I cry?
Although it's just a while, but then at least feel better...
feel like finally i found the way to express out all those unhappy things which keep in my heart these few days..
But I still feel I'm useless enough..
why I have to cry??? =(
and yea, suppose to be happy..
yet I'm already try to leave all those unhappy things at side...
yup, seriously don't know why these few days feel kinda stresses!
even I don't understand why those unhappy or unlucky things keep on looking for me?! =/
No matter how those stresses keep on coming near to me,
I just be quiet and moody only,
I will try to tell myself not to cry,
must hold, and all will be alright later...
who knows, my boss today coming back from trip,
once he arrived he direct call and ask me how about these few days during working..
at starting I still act like nothing happened and feel happy when heard he was back,
when he ask me about working, I just keep quiet on the other side..
and yea he told me he roughly know what had happened on me,
because his wife has told him a bit before that when she saw what status that I've posted on FB..
He understand I might not be convenient to talk lots in phone,
so that he said will call me later,
ask me don't feel unhappy...
Who knows, after put down the phone,
my tears come out from eye suddenly
Ishhhh, I cry?
Although it's just a while, but then at least feel better...
feel like finally i found the way to express out all those unhappy things which keep in my heart these few days..
But I still feel I'm useless enough..
why I have to cry??? =(
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Doing nothing ='(
In fact, I also don't know why I'll be here~
somemore I feel like I'm nothing in the office~ especially I have done all the things that my boss asked me to do and I saw other clerks seem like very busy..
Me? yea, online + facebook + even bring along the notes and study...
I don't mind he gave me lot of jobs to do and busy like hell,
yet, I just don't hope to facing some of the questions as like others keep on asking me: "Is he got lot of things to do?" or "He pay you sat here?"
yea, that's what another people ask me just now again..
Without doubt, my boss and even some of my colleagues ask me just ignore them,
don't bother what they said and ask..
But the problem is, I can't ignore my self-respect...
that is I need to help people do something as the person pay me!
I understand my boss is trying to help me...
He knew I'm facing financial problem so that he offer me as his assistant,
but then I really hope that I can help but not just sat over there and do nothing!
I hope to find someone chat, but then I can't be the one who disturbing those who busy..
plus, I'm not asking to chat and talk lots with salary given..
So I choose to be quiet, online and study at the corner..
but some of them keep on came near to me and see what I'm busying for?
To be honestly, I even started to feel embarrassed when I was sitting there...
Haiz... I'm very unhappy now!!! ='(
somemore I feel like I'm nothing in the office~ especially I have done all the things that my boss asked me to do and I saw other clerks seem like very busy..
Me? yea, online + facebook + even bring along the notes and study...
I don't mind he gave me lot of jobs to do and busy like hell,
yet, I just don't hope to facing some of the questions as like others keep on asking me: "Is he got lot of things to do?" or "He pay you sat here?"
yea, that's what another people ask me just now again..
Without doubt, my boss and even some of my colleagues ask me just ignore them,
don't bother what they said and ask..
But the problem is, I can't ignore my self-respect...
that is I need to help people do something as the person pay me!
I understand my boss is trying to help me...
He knew I'm facing financial problem so that he offer me as his assistant,
but then I really hope that I can help but not just sat over there and do nothing!
I hope to find someone chat, but then I can't be the one who disturbing those who busy..
plus, I'm not asking to chat and talk lots with salary given..
So I choose to be quiet, online and study at the corner..
but some of them keep on came near to me and see what I'm busying for?
To be honestly, I even started to feel embarrassed when I was sitting there...
Haiz... I'm very unhappy now!!! ='(
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Boring~~~ Haiz..
Do you know that if a people who do not have a proper work or aims in this society of world, then what is the value for he/she to staying in the earth?
Well, I do not have any full-time work during this holidays although I felt very bored at home. Everyday most of the time is sat in front of the computer and just few hours to go for work at clinic. Even my cousins always ask me what I'm going to do until I almost become crazy with those questions. I've tried to find work but on the other hand I still thinking whether want go for further study or not.
Sometimes, I will felt that I'm the one who wasting money and time at home. And even felt that I'm very useless no matter on study or work. I knew that it's too late for me to getting regret because time will no turn back anymore once it has passed through.
Yea, luckily I still can get some ideas form my friends which go for work while haven't making any decisions. Heard that it is a good solutions to get your best thinking for future. Maybe you may found your favourite later through your working days. And yea, suddenly I have remembered some memories that had happen during my school days before and I 've think a lots too. Hope that I may get some advices from the passed...
Well, I do not have any full-time work during this holidays although I felt very bored at home. Everyday most of the time is sat in front of the computer and just few hours to go for work at clinic. Even my cousins always ask me what I'm going to do until I almost become crazy with those questions. I've tried to find work but on the other hand I still thinking whether want go for further study or not.
Sometimes, I will felt that I'm the one who wasting money and time at home. And even felt that I'm very useless no matter on study or work. I knew that it's too late for me to getting regret because time will no turn back anymore once it has passed through.
Yea, luckily I still can get some ideas form my friends which go for work while haven't making any decisions. Heard that it is a good solutions to get your best thinking for future. Maybe you may found your favourite later through your working days. And yea, suddenly I have remembered some memories that had happen during my school days before and I 've think a lots too. Hope that I may get some advices from the passed...
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sad-ing
DOn't know why suddenly I'll get down in mood la... Haiz... Especially when some of them keep asking me those questions which related to my future and planning...
Arghh~~~ Please stop it la.. I'm actually very sad and stressing with that... Why still wanna to forces me, I'm really feel like going to die.. Why my future so blur... Why we must make decisions for our future? Why so many things we have to think and care? My brain really going to burst once I've think more about of it...T_T
Somemore I will feel don't wanna to study anymore.. Stupid right? Ok ok, I will try to make it fast k? But please don't keep asking me those questions k? I promised that I'll inform you all once I've make decisions la k? Of course you are welcome if you're ready to give me some counselling or ideas la..=)
Arghh~~~ Please stop it la.. I'm actually very sad and stressing with that... Why still wanna to forces me, I'm really feel like going to die.. Why my future so blur... Why we must make decisions for our future? Why so many things we have to think and care? My brain really going to burst once I've think more about of it...T_T
Somemore I will feel don't wanna to study anymore.. Stupid right? Ok ok, I will try to make it fast k? But please don't keep asking me those questions k? I promised that I'll inform you all once I've make decisions la k? Of course you are welcome if you're ready to give me some counselling or ideas la..=)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
我真的生气了！
为什么他总要做一些白痴兼无谓的东西惹我们生气？！
既然他之前有一段日子是有心做好本份让我们开心和喜欢他...
为什么他就不要这样继续坚持下去，
而偏要那么快复古盟态来让我们生气甚至讨厌他呢？！
为什么他既然都知道这样做会让别人生气，
而偏要做呢？
这样做会令他得到什么好处？
这样做会令他得到什么好处？
既然是这样倒不如做些有意义的事来换取别人的赞赏不是更好吗？
难道在他被骂时就不难过的吗？！
我已经忍到极限了！
我真的超不爽他了！
不管谁说我小气也好，
无情也罢！
这都是他逼我的！
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Study? Money?
Do you know that which is more important for me now? Study or working? I feel so embarrassed now cause I'm confusing even don't know what I should do now. During this holidays, I have thought a lots. But I have no any ideas so far.
Yea, I wish to have work while I'm waiting for the release of result. At least can throw out all my worries away from me. Some more may earn some money. But my mom prevented me from searching work because she ask me to search for work after CNY. But the results will release before CNY, and I have to make a choices either further study or start working. Even either my result may fulfill all the entry requirements for further study at University or not, I don't know yet. My emotion almost getting distraction since I have to think a lots on these such things. How? And what to do now?
Honestly, I did not enjoy this holiday after the exam at all some more it was distracted my mind always during this whole month. Yea, I will get my result soon. But what will see later? Full of happiness? Sadness? Or disappointment? Who knows? I don't dare to predict how my result going to be because it was not same as SPM. It was totally different! T.T
Yea, I wish to have work while I'm waiting for the release of result. At least can throw out all my worries away from me. Some more may earn some money. But my mom prevented me from searching work because she ask me to search for work after CNY. But the results will release before CNY, and I have to make a choices either further study or start working. Even either my result may fulfill all the entry requirements for further study at University or not, I don't know yet. My emotion almost getting distraction since I have to think a lots on these such things. How? And what to do now?
Honestly, I did not enjoy this holiday after the exam at all some more it was distracted my mind always during this whole month. Yea, I will get my result soon. But what will see later? Full of happiness? Sadness? Or disappointment? Who knows? I don't dare to predict how my result going to be because it was not same as SPM. It was totally different! T.T
Friday, December 19, 2008
2nd day to be a "maid"
Yea, today was the 2nd day for me to be a maid at home without mom. How was the feel? Let me to tell you, It's so so so Boring!! I'm start to wondering how my mom to stay at home for everyday like me now in these few years.
I almost become crazy when I'm at home, especially when facing to my cousin. Yea, his mom has went to Ireland for work for almost 2 weeks. Do you know how was his attitude? In fact was not a main problem but I extremely hate this!
He was totally treat me and my sister as his "maid"! Espeacially after meal, he just put his plate in the basin and then just leaves it over there. Means that I'm not only have to prepare breakfast and dinner for them and also have to help him to washes his dishes! Is that a heavy work for him huh?! Besides that, he was not care for his own work but care on other's business. Just like today, I have never asked him to bath my cats and he do so, but he just bath on one cat only and don't care on others! See, that's why I'm be mad at him!!
Even give a help in other's business but just did half only and not ALL! Then how about the another half works remained? Of course I have to complete it! =.=!!!
Didn't care on his own things but care on others things plus give me more extra works! I have never saw a boy who so "kepoh"(who said it in Hokkien) and “鸡婆”like we've learned in mandarin as him! He was extremely like an "auntie" you know?! (Congrats to him since he has fulfilled all the requirements to become an "auntie"! =.=!!!) Arghhh~ so angry now!! Hope that my mom come back faster otherwise I'll become crazy!!!
I almost become crazy when I'm at home, especially when facing to my cousin. Yea, his mom has went to Ireland for work for almost 2 weeks. Do you know how was his attitude? In fact was not a main problem but I extremely hate this!
He was totally treat me and my sister as his "maid"! Espeacially after meal, he just put his plate in the basin and then just leaves it over there. Means that I'm not only have to prepare breakfast and dinner for them and also have to help him to washes his dishes! Is that a heavy work for him huh?! Besides that, he was not care for his own work but care on other's business. Just like today, I have never asked him to bath my cats and he do so, but he just bath on one cat only and don't care on others! See, that's why I'm be mad at him!!
Even give a help in other's business but just did half only and not ALL! Then how about the another half works remained? Of course I have to complete it! =.=!!!Didn't care on his own things but care on others things plus give me more extra works! I have never saw a boy who so "kepoh"(who said it in Hokkien) and “鸡婆”like we've learned in mandarin as him! He was extremely like an "auntie" you know?! (Congrats to him since he has fulfilled all the requirements to become an "auntie"! =.=!!!) Arghhh~ so angry now!! Hope that my mom come back faster otherwise I'll become crazy!!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Since I feel so moody when I've wake up today and saw one message from my friend. She's asking me whether free to covering her from work on 26th, 27th and 28th of December or not because she'll has birthday celebration on these 3 days.( Her birthday on 24th of December)
WHat? Even she has "so many" birthday celebrations and she can't able to get back early for work huh? Then I just replied her that I've to go out to meet up my old friends. Then I wondered she has misunderstood for what I've said, she thought me not allowed her to having her celebration and she said each year only got one day was her birthday, and I have plenty of time to meet up my friend during holidays, why can't meet them later?
I'm started to feel angry for what she has said as I've mentioned just now I'm moody once I get up today. >.< (Sorry, normally nope but just today..=.=!!!) I said although I have plenty of time during holidays but it doesn't mean that they're same as me, because normally is difficult to ask them out since some of them have busy on either study or working. Of course I almost wanted to start quarrel with her in sms just now. Huhu~~ Luckily I still able to control myself. During that time I think she has sensed that I'm angry from what I've replied her in sms. She appologize to me and ask me not to angry, she said that she'll try to arrange her time for birthday celebrations and will discusses with me later. Aiks... What to do, then I just told her that I'll try to arrange my time too for covering her to works lo.
She is like this one, always think about herself and doesn't think about others. Just like what we've said in mandarin, "习惯就好"。Haiz...... =.=!!!
WHat? Even she has "so many" birthday celebrations and she can't able to get back early for work huh? Then I just replied her that I've to go out to meet up my old friends. Then I wondered she has misunderstood for what I've said, she thought me not allowed her to having her celebration and she said each year only got one day was her birthday, and I have plenty of time to meet up my friend during holidays, why can't meet them later?
I'm started to feel angry for what she has said as I've mentioned just now I'm moody once I get up today. >.< (Sorry, normally nope but just today..=.=!!!) I said although I have plenty of time during holidays but it doesn't mean that they're same as me, because normally is difficult to ask them out since some of them have busy on either study or working. Of course I almost wanted to start quarrel with her in sms just now. Huhu~~ Luckily I still able to control myself. During that time I think she has sensed that I'm angry from what I've replied her in sms. She appologize to me and ask me not to angry, she said that she'll try to arrange her time for birthday celebrations and will discusses with me later. Aiks... What to do, then I just told her that I'll try to arrange my time too for covering her to works lo.
She is like this one, always think about herself and doesn't think about others. Just like what we've said in mandarin, "习惯就好"。Haiz...... =.=!!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
What Should I do now?!
Since the few papers that I've take in last few days, I really feel no more mood and confidents for following papers. That's because of those papers are damn difficult than last time..T.T
Mathematics subject has gone, all papers 1, 3, 4, and 6, I can said that there's no one papers that I have did well in math. T.T And the Chem. prac and Bio. prac papers, I really almost want to die, because I don't even have enough time to finished it and some more differentiate wrong the specimen diagram that has given in Bio.prac papers too! ( So as a reminder, better don't believe 100% in the tips given! =.=!!! ) ! As most of my friends and lecturers said that practical papers are not so important, coz it's marks for overall of whole subject are not much, so better do well in others papers to gain more marks to balance the marks that we have lost in practical papers...T.T ( As I know that even the practical also can't able to do well, then how I get the confident for following papers leh... and some more those question papers are so difficult and harder than last time, so the probabilities of my confident for the following papers is almost NEGATIVE! =.=lll )
Since it's my last chance, so I'm very worry about that.. worry about my result sucks and make me can't able to continue with degree course later.. Some more, if I really can't do well in the exam, am I really have to stop from studying? Or just simply take some degree courses that I'm not so interest in? Or just give up and tell myself that " not your fault, it's because of you're not suitable in A-level course only.. maybe you still can do well in other course.."? Or I really have to resit for one more semester again?
I really don't know what I'm talking about and even thinking! I'm so confusing now! I don't want just listen those excuses such as I'm not suit in this course or just give up like that! I can't able to believe that I can't do that since I've take the course for almost 1 and half years! How?! What should I do now?!
Mathematics subject has gone, all papers 1, 3, 4, and 6, I can said that there's no one papers that I have did well in math. T.T And the Chem. prac and Bio. prac papers, I really almost want to die, because I don't even have enough time to finished it and some more differentiate wrong the specimen diagram that has given in Bio.prac papers too! ( So as a reminder, better don't believe 100% in the tips given! =.=!!! ) ! As most of my friends and lecturers said that practical papers are not so important, coz it's marks for overall of whole subject are not much, so better do well in others papers to gain more marks to balance the marks that we have lost in practical papers...T.T ( As I know that even the practical also can't able to do well, then how I get the confident for following papers leh... and some more those question papers are so difficult and harder than last time, so the probabilities of my confident for the following papers is almost NEGATIVE! =.=lll )
Since it's my last chance, so I'm very worry about that.. worry about my result sucks and make me can't able to continue with degree course later.. Some more, if I really can't do well in the exam, am I really have to stop from studying? Or just simply take some degree courses that I'm not so interest in? Or just give up and tell myself that " not your fault, it's because of you're not suitable in A-level course only.. maybe you still can do well in other course.."? Or I really have to resit for one more semester again?
I really don't know what I'm talking about and even thinking! I'm so confusing now! I don't want just listen those excuses such as I'm not suit in this course or just give up like that! I can't able to believe that I can't do that since I've take the course for almost 1 and half years! How?! What should I do now?!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Speech-less...
Well, today still the same as last few days, still feel moody... I'm also don't know what happened for myself actually..
WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY! Some more today still have a feeling that I want to scold someone helps to express out all my moody and unhappy!
Well, until now I still can control my ownself... but it still have to depends on my following day's mood...=.=!!!
P/s --> Hope that there is no one so unlucky within these few days~
WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY! Some more today still have a feeling that I want to scold someone helps to express out all my moody and unhappy!
Well, until now I still can control my ownself... but it still have to depends on my following day's mood...=.=!!!
P/s --> Hope that there is no one so unlucky within these few days~
Monday, October 20, 2008
What Had Happened??!
What had happened to my old blog?!
Just don't know suddenly can't open the cuztomize page! And some more those decorations that I have put before all suddenly disappear!
Just don't know suddenly can't open the cuztomize page! And some more those decorations that I have put before all suddenly disappear!
Haiyoyo~~although I have try to do something for MANY times but also can't...T.T Since I can't do anything and finally I'm forcing to give up. Really heartache la you know? I feel want to cry la~~~ I have waste a lot of time before that only can achieved so many posts and decorations...but suddenly ALL DISAPPEAR! 
I have try to did it for whole night yesterday but at last also can't make any changes... that's why I give up and delete the whole blog...
Haiya, I have to create it again la!! T-T Haiz...I have no more mood now la~~T^T
Goodbye to my old blog... I'll miss you~~T.T
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