到底，是我管太多了吗？
我真得那么蛮不讲理吗？
我真得那么不理解她妈？
我真的讲太多了吗？
或许，我真的想太多了，
太不信任她了，
太害怕看到她步我后尘，会后悔以前所作的一切，
所以我就一直提醒她，
想办法纠镇她。
可能，是我真的太紧张，
很多时候都会冲动了，
语气是会无意间重了，续而令到她误解我的意思，
以致到最后她觉得我是自以为是，觉得我自己是对的，而她是错的。
很抱歉，我不是要告诉她她就是错的，而我是对的，
我真的不是要告诉她这些，
我也不是要在她面前显示出我有多么伟大，
我觉得帮助、维护她是我的责任！
就只因为她是我的家人！！！
因为我真的太担心，
太担心我最害怕看到的会出现在我们眼前，
我真的不想让这些事发生在她身上。
因为我怕她会解决不来、会后悔！
就是因为我有太多的后悔，
所以我才希望她不要有任何遗憾。
我真的不是不要信任她，
而我真的放不下心来。
当她说出一句：“我哪敢怪你？”这句话时，
知道当时我有多心痛、多难过吗？
那时我真的体会到以前妈妈在被我顶撞时的心情，
那种心情真的很伤、很伤......
原来我在她心中是那么的不可理喻......
无论如何，我希望她会好好的过每一天，
不要对她的过去有任何遗憾，
也不要对她现在的所作所为后悔！
重要的是未来，不再是以前，
因为以前已成过去，已无法改变，
所以好好把握将来。
我知道她已经有自己的思想，
不再是以前那个只会一味听及点头的小妹。
最后，
我对于以前对她的冲动感到很抱歉！！
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Anyone who can save me out?! o.O
Anyone who can save me out?
Haiyo~~I really too free la...... Besides eat, sleep, online and watch tv program, I don't know what else I can do at home!I rather go study or working than at home! It's really too free la, and I dislike it!
Now I'm starting to miss my college's life, miss all my lecturers, dear coursemates and my HOMEWORKS too!! Busy for something at least better than nothing to do at home, right?
Anyway, I don't want to stay at home without anything to do!!! I must do something!! Argh~~~~~~ so stupid!!!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
很无聊啊~~
自从考完试后，也暂时一切都告一段落。从之前每天都烦考试，烦这样、 烦那样的人，突然变得得空起来，真得很无聊啊......（尤其是我现在是生是死都不知道的人...唉...怎么办啊？）
就因为如此，搞到我想也不是，不要去想也不是，真的是生不如死啊...之前的学院生活，还说还有一些东西忙，但现在反而清闲到无所事事，唯一的精神寄托——功课都没有的忙了，那我还可以做些什么啊？
找工又还没找到，朋友有些就忙着做工、拍拖、读书及考试，都没时间理我，反而我是最空闲的一个...反观出街，我又没那么多钱去逛街，真得很矛盾啊！！！
以前有的读就嫌烦，没有得读就闷到发慌；要去申请大学又不懂自己的成绩怎样，去想，烦、不去想，也是烦。我的未来是怎样到目前还是一个谜。我的头就快爆炸啦！！！
救命啊~到底我该怎么办啊？？？神啊，现在是我第二次求您，你就大发慈悲保佑我一次吧~
***我很想去上课啊！！！我不想继续在家里做废人啊！！！***
就因为如此，搞到我想也不是，不要去想也不是，真的是生不如死啊...之前的学院生活，还说还有一些东西忙，但现在反而清闲到无所事事，唯一的精神寄托——功课都没有的忙了，那我还可以做些什么啊？
找工又还没找到，朋友有些就忙着做工、拍拖、读书及考试，都没时间理我，反而我是最空闲的一个...反观出街，我又没那么多钱去逛街，真得很矛盾啊！！！
以前有的读就嫌烦，没有得读就闷到发慌；要去申请大学又不懂自己的成绩怎样，去想，烦、不去想，也是烦。我的未来是怎样到目前还是一个谜。我的头就快爆炸啦！！！
救命啊~到底我该怎么办啊？？？神啊，现在是我第二次求您，你就大发慈悲保佑我一次吧~
***我很想去上课啊！！！我不想继续在家里做废人啊！！！***
First "DaTinG" after the exam...XP
Well, today... sorry, not today anymore, it's yesterday, because the clock has been passed over the 12.00am...XP
Well, yea, it's yesterday, I have a "first dating" with my "long-lost friend", Phui Yen, because we already have a long time didn't meet for each other (but we still in contact with SMS sometimes..XP). Yea, we went to Midvalley for a movie actually, but we're not going together because she got classes until 12pm. So, I went to take train alone at around 11.45am and arrived there at around 12.35pm.
Since I arrived there earlier than her, therefore I went to around cinema selling ticket counter there and planning which movie we're going to watch ( coz both of our mom also hope that we can go back early..T.T) and then discuss with her through sms. At last she reached there at around 1.05pm when I'm queueing up in the line for waiting to buy for ticket. Through our last decisions, the movie that we watch is "MADAGASCAR ESCAPE 2" which at shift 2.30pm.
While we're waiting for time to get into the cinema, we went to Mc Donald and have our lunch. When we finished our lunch, it's the time for us to get into the cinema. Yea, the "MADAGASCAR" not bad though, it's story is quite funny and nice to have a look. =) ( In fact is quite worth for watch this movie...XD)
After the movie end, it's around 4pm. Seen we still have time, then we went for have a walk around there. ( Hey, finally I knew where is "THE GARDEN" stated in!) Actually I want to searching for a new watch around there, but the prices was so expensive, and I have unable to buy it...T.T At last, I didn't buy anything at all and we went to take train and go back at around 5pm.
Yea, I quite enjoy this "dating" with PY, because I have not to went there and met her for a period of time. Hope that she may enjoy it too~
P/s ---> Another thing is quite funny for this dating is, that is our first time to buy for ticket at the cinema selling ticket counter, we choose the sit through computer until we searching for our sits inside the cinema. That is because of normally when we went out with our own friends to cinema, our friends will did it all for us and we just followed only! XP
Pp/s -----> In conclusion, I'm quite proud of all our " first time" of the enjoyrable dating yesterday! Hahaha! XP
Well, yea, it's yesterday, I have a "first dating" with my "long-lost friend", Phui Yen, because we already have a long time didn't meet for each other (but we still in contact with SMS sometimes..XP). Yea, we went to Midvalley for a movie actually, but we're not going together because she got classes until 12pm. So, I went to take train alone at around 11.45am and arrived there at around 12.35pm.
Since I arrived there earlier than her, therefore I went to around cinema selling ticket counter there and planning which movie we're going to watch ( coz both of our mom also hope that we can go back early..T.T) and then discuss with her through sms. At last she reached there at around 1.05pm when I'm queueing up in the line for waiting to buy for ticket. Through our last decisions, the movie that we watch is "MADAGASCAR ESCAPE 2" which at shift 2.30pm.
While we're waiting for time to get into the cinema, we went to Mc Donald and have our lunch. When we finished our lunch, it's the time for us to get into the cinema. Yea, the "MADAGASCAR" not bad though, it's story is quite funny and nice to have a look. =) ( In fact is quite worth for watch this movie...XD)
After the movie end, it's around 4pm. Seen we still have time, then we went for have a walk around there. ( Hey, finally I knew where is "THE GARDEN" stated in!) Actually I want to searching for a new watch around there, but the prices was so expensive, and I have unable to buy it...T.T At last, I didn't buy anything at all and we went to take train and go back at around 5pm.
Yea, I quite enjoy this "dating" with PY, because I have not to went there and met her for a period of time. Hope that she may enjoy it too~
P/s ---> Another thing is quite funny for this dating is, that is our first time to buy for ticket at the cinema selling ticket counter, we choose the sit through computer until we searching for our sits inside the cinema. That is because of normally when we went out with our own friends to cinema, our friends will did it all for us and we just followed only! XP
Pp/s -----> In conclusion, I'm quite proud of all our " first time" of the enjoyrable dating yesterday! Hahaha! XP
Thursday, November 20, 2008
总算结束了~
一个月的考试总算结束了，但不算是很圆满吧...因为总觉得自己这次做得很不好，惨了，我真的很担心我的成绩啊！！（虽然大概一月成绩才会出炉，但由于有了上次的经历，使得我真的无法镇定下来，是真的很怕, 很害怕一切的历史都会重演..)
另一边就是，一年半的学院生活也这样过去了。想起来真的觉得蛮怀念的，虽然在一年半里一直都是考试、考试、考试，但我们都过得蛮快乐。这里的讲师都很好，虽然某些讲师都一直在更换，这一点我们真得很不满意。但无可否认，有些讲师是公认的好。（所以考不好大多数都是我们的问题，不能完全怪完他们...T.T)
今天虽然是最后一天考试，也代表我们已完成了这个课程，日后就不能时常见面了，所以我今天都不是很开心，因为很不舍得。今天意想不到的是，我们这四个时常在一起的朋友，平时回家都很少一起搭车回的，通常都各有各回，但今天竟然会一起搭车回家，觉得蛮意外的。（突然想起以前我们四个都一起走去轻快铁站候车的时候，虽然我们都不在同一个站下车，但就在同一个站上车。所以令到我很怀念下… ）
再回来今天这个考试吧，今天的考试也很难啊...为什么在这一个月的考试里，都没有一个例如“我很有信心考好这一张”之类的好消息从我口中传出来？每一次考完出来都是些不好的消息 ，为什么会这样啊？！我真的很怕，很担心啊…我该怎么办才好啊？我真得很对不起我父母还有教过我的讲师啊！！
很对不起啊，是我没有尽到力做到最好…
神啊，请保佑保佑我吧~~~我会很感激您的~~
**无论如何，各位认识我的人、大人及小孩、我的父母、各位亲戚、还有我想念已久的朋友们！！我终于回来啦！想死你们啦~~XP**
另一边就是，一年半的学院生活也这样过去了。想起来真的觉得蛮怀念的，虽然在一年半里一直都是考试、考试、考试，但我们都过得蛮快乐。这里的讲师都很好，虽然某些讲师都一直在更换，这一点我们真得很不满意。但无可否认，有些讲师是公认的好。（所以考不好大多数都是我们的问题，不能完全怪完他们...T.T)
今天虽然是最后一天考试，也代表我们已完成了这个课程，日后就不能时常见面了，所以我今天都不是很开心，因为很不舍得。今天意想不到的是，我们这四个时常在一起的朋友，平时回家都很少一起搭车回的，通常都各有各回，但今天竟然会一起搭车回家，觉得蛮意外的。（突然想起以前我们四个都一起走去轻快铁站候车的时候，虽然我们都不在同一个站下车，但就在同一个站上车。所以令到我很怀念下… ）
再回来今天这个考试吧，今天的考试也很难啊...为什么在这一个月的考试里，都没有一个例如“我很有信心考好这一张”之类的好消息从我口中传出来？每一次考完出来都是些不好的消息 ，为什么会这样啊？！我真的很怕，很担心啊…我该怎么办才好啊？我真得很对不起我父母还有教过我的讲师啊！！
很对不起啊，是我没有尽到力做到最好…
神啊，请保佑保佑我吧~~~我会很感激您的~~
**无论如何，各位认识我的人、大人及小孩、我的父母、各位亲戚、还有我想念已久的朋友们！！我终于回来啦！想死你们啦~~XP**
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
So Stupid!
Wah~~ today the Chemistry paper 4 is damn hard! Why so hard?! If I still able to think some "rubbish", I think it should better ( at least better than blank it there, right? =.=!!!). But the worst thing is I can't able to think and put something inside, even some rubbish. T_T
Arghh~~~ why I so stupid? WHY?! WHO CAN TELL ME WHY?! I know I'm bad, but got something I must said it out. IF I said it out don't blame me that I'm selfish oh..( although I know I am..=.=)
That is -----> I hope that there is no one able to do it! Especially for those taking the same papers as me! ( I think there is not only me the one will think so, but all of the student hope so..XP)
P/s ---> If the marking scheme for the marks can be lowered down then it will be better for me too!
Arghh~~~ why I so stupid? WHY?! WHO CAN TELL ME WHY?! I know I'm bad, but got something I must said it out. IF I said it out don't blame me that I'm selfish oh..( although I know I am..=.=)
That is -----> I hope that there is no one able to do it! Especially for those taking the same papers as me! ( I think there is not only me the one will think so, but all of the student hope so..XP)
P/s ---> If the marking scheme for the marks can be lowered down then it will be better for me too!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Just talking Nonsense..XP
Since I've sat for the exam for almost one month, and the exam also going to over soon. But it's still very scary and terrible for me. I scare to sat down and look for the exam papers, although I'm nervous but still haven't until blur and don't know what to do. But don't know why I always think that I'm still haven't fully prepared yet.
Besides that, I'm also scare that the day which the results are released. Wow, I totally can't and don't dare to imagine it!
Suddenly feel that I'm the miss the day when I having classes with my friends and lecturers! I really miss them! >.<> I think I have some mental problem since I have sat for the exam for whole month or maybe feel too stresses too. Because don't know why I suddenly feel that I want to re-sit for the SPM since my cousin came to my house last few days and she seen like so hardworking to prepare for the SPM exam! ( There is a big difference when I sat for the SPM last time..haven't did the full prepared plus feeling very relax during that time some more..>.<) So, the reason for me to re-take SPM is because of I want do some changes in my history before! Eh eh, maybe I can get at least 5A's I think! Hahahahaha ----- I think I've really get crazy...T.T
Pp/s --> I'm just talking nonsenses only.. Until now I only know that how stupid am I...T.T
Besides that, I'm also scare that the day which the results are released. Wow, I totally can't and don't dare to imagine it!
Suddenly feel that I'm the miss the day when I having classes with my friends and lecturers! I really miss them! >.<> I think I have some mental problem since I have sat for the exam for whole month or maybe feel too stresses too. Because don't know why I suddenly feel that I want to re-sit for the SPM since my cousin came to my house last few days and she seen like so hardworking to prepare for the SPM exam! ( There is a big difference when I sat for the SPM last time..haven't did the full prepared plus feeling very relax during that time some more..>.<) So, the reason for me to re-take SPM is because of I want do some changes in my history before! Eh eh, maybe I can get at least 5A's I think! Hahahahaha ----- I think I've really get crazy...T.T
Pp/s --> I'm just talking nonsenses only.. Until now I only know that how stupid am I...T.T
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Yesterday and today
Yesterday was the exam for Chemistry paper 2 and 5. Hmmm~ actually it's quite ok for paper 2 due to I've did some preparations for it ( but in fact is still very scare and worry especially when I heard that my answers were not same as my friends...=.=+)
For paper 5 I suddenly get speechless. Why I said so? That is because it's damn difficult and some more I didn't finished it at all! Yea, paper 5 is actually like to asking us do the planning of the experiments, although it has given 1 and 15 minutes for 2 questions, but I still unable to finished it because of I've wasted a lots of time in thinking what is the questions asking about! =.=!
Since the exam for yesterday over at around 4.45pm, therefore when I reached at home I totally feel sleepy and don't have any mood to continue revisions for following paper at all. But at last I still forcing myself to do some quick revision for the Biology paper 1 (luckily it's just a multiple choices), until around 12.30am, that time I really can't controlled myself and then finally went to the bed.XP Then today I wake up at 7.00am for went to my friend house's for bio tuition ( the tuition start at 9.30am) . Actually I still quite sleepy at that time, so when I waiting for ktm at around 7.30am and even fit into the train, although inside it was very pack but I still very sleepy. =.=!!
However, I actually is quite tired for today even at tuition and during exam. Then I also feel no mood for this whole day, I think it might be cause by lacks of sleeping time. XP But luckily I'm not so blur and still able to think when I'm doing those questions.:)
Hmmm~ for Bio paper 1 actually is quite ok too since I've did some quick revision on last night ( I thought that I'll not able to remember it.. T.T) and also Ms How has discussed with us some past years questions during the tuition before the exam.XP
My next paper will be at next week, so hope that I still have enough time to prepare for it! =)
But the first thing I need to do is gain enough the sleeping time for today, Good Nite.^^
For paper 5 I suddenly get speechless. Why I said so? That is because it's damn difficult and some more I didn't finished it at all! Yea, paper 5 is actually like to asking us do the planning of the experiments, although it has given 1 and 15 minutes for 2 questions, but I still unable to finished it because of I've wasted a lots of time in thinking what is the questions asking about! =.=!
Since the exam for yesterday over at around 4.45pm, therefore when I reached at home I totally feel sleepy and don't have any mood to continue revisions for following paper at all. But at last I still forcing myself to do some quick revision for the Biology paper 1 (luckily it's just a multiple choices), until around 12.30am, that time I really can't controlled myself and then finally went to the bed.XP Then today I wake up at 7.00am for went to my friend house's for bio tuition ( the tuition start at 9.30am) . Actually I still quite sleepy at that time, so when I waiting for ktm at around 7.30am and even fit into the train, although inside it was very pack but I still very sleepy. =.=!!
However, I actually is quite tired for today even at tuition and during exam. Then I also feel no mood for this whole day, I think it might be cause by lacks of sleeping time. XP But luckily I'm not so blur and still able to think when I'm doing those questions.:)
Hmmm~ for Bio paper 1 actually is quite ok too since I've did some quick revision on last night ( I thought that I'll not able to remember it.. T.T) and also Ms How has discussed with us some past years questions during the tuition before the exam.XP
My next paper will be at next week, so hope that I still have enough time to prepare for it! =)
But the first thing I need to do is gain enough the sleeping time for today, Good Nite.^^
Monday, November 3, 2008
人，是不是真的会随着时间而改变？
今天，本来我妈约了我阿姨（她的堂妹）一起出去用餐，因为她的生日快到了，况且她也快要出国工作了（听说是要去两年，搞到她的儿子必须留在我们家两年，T.T!!!），所以打算帮她庆祝下。
怎知道，当我妈在五点多打去问她会在几点到时，她竟然又放我们飞机！她，已经不是第一次了。在很多时候，答应了我们的事，都会在最后一分钟爽约。有时更甚的是，还要我妈亲自打去问她大概什么时候会到时才来爽约！我顿时真的感到很反感，为什么我这个从小到大最敬爱的阿姨会变成这样，那么没责任感，那么口是心非？如果我们没打去问她在什么时候会到的话，那我们岂不是要傻傻地白等一场？又或者，如果我妈不是提早打去问她，就直接到餐厅等她的话，而她又没打电话来说她不来，那我们岂不就饿着肚子白等？
我妈从小就跟她一起长大，我妈时常都笑说她们之间的感情也可以说是比自己的亲姐妹还深，皆因我妈不是跟自己的姐妹一起长大的，而是跟她的婆婆和爸爸（我阿姨称他为伯伯）那里长大的，也可以说是我妈也是跟她堂兄弟姐妹一起长大的。而众堂兄弟姐妹，就数这个阿姨与我妈最合得来。虽然到我妈长大时也有跟回我外婆及自己的姐妹生活，但就不及这位阿姨好。就因为这样，在我小时候，我就只熟悉这位阿姨，因为我妈有时也放心留我在她家过夜。虽然她那时已结婚，但由于那时她还没有小孩，所以她可以说是很疼我，我每次从她家回来都会有“满载而归”。她对我的好我是永远不会忘记的，但为什么她要一次又一次的欺骗我们？说真的，我的感到很失望。我妈教过我不要太介怀，但她一次又一次的说谎，不但是我，连我妈也感到很失望。我们真得不知道她在什么时候在说谎，什么时候时说真话。
总之如果她再那样下去，我们真得不懂得要怎样去帮助她......
怎知道，当我妈在五点多打去问她会在几点到时，她竟然又放我们飞机！她，已经不是第一次了。在很多时候，答应了我们的事，都会在最后一分钟爽约。有时更甚的是，还要我妈亲自打去问她大概什么时候会到时才来爽约！我顿时真的感到很反感，为什么我这个从小到大最敬爱的阿姨会变成这样，那么没责任感，那么口是心非？如果我们没打去问她在什么时候会到的话，那我们岂不是要傻傻地白等一场？又或者，如果我妈不是提早打去问她，就直接到餐厅等她的话，而她又没打电话来说她不来，那我们岂不就饿着肚子白等？
我妈从小就跟她一起长大，我妈时常都笑说她们之间的感情也可以说是比自己的亲姐妹还深，皆因我妈不是跟自己的姐妹一起长大的，而是跟她的婆婆和爸爸（我阿姨称他为伯伯）那里长大的，也可以说是我妈也是跟她堂兄弟姐妹一起长大的。而众堂兄弟姐妹，就数这个阿姨与我妈最合得来。虽然到我妈长大时也有跟回我外婆及自己的姐妹生活，但就不及这位阿姨好。就因为这样，在我小时候，我就只熟悉这位阿姨，因为我妈有时也放心留我在她家过夜。虽然她那时已结婚，但由于那时她还没有小孩，所以她可以说是很疼我，我每次从她家回来都会有“满载而归”。她对我的好我是永远不会忘记的，但为什么她要一次又一次的欺骗我们？说真的，我的感到很失望。我妈教过我不要太介怀，但她一次又一次的说谎，不但是我，连我妈也感到很失望。我们真得不知道她在什么时候在说谎，什么时候时说真话。
总之如果她再那样下去，我们真得不懂得要怎样去帮助她......
Sunday, November 2, 2008
What Should I do now?!
Since the few papers that I've take in last few days, I really feel no more mood and confidents for following papers. That's because of those papers are damn difficult than last time..T.T
Mathematics subject has gone, all papers 1, 3, 4, and 6, I can said that there's no one papers that I have did well in math. T.T And the Chem. prac and Bio. prac papers, I really almost want to die, because I don't even have enough time to finished it and some more differentiate wrong the specimen diagram that has given in Bio.prac papers too! ( So as a reminder, better don't believe 100% in the tips given! =.=!!! ) ! As most of my friends and lecturers said that practical papers are not so important, coz it's marks for overall of whole subject are not much, so better do well in others papers to gain more marks to balance the marks that we have lost in practical papers...T.T ( As I know that even the practical also can't able to do well, then how I get the confident for following papers leh... and some more those question papers are so difficult and harder than last time, so the probabilities of my confident for the following papers is almost NEGATIVE! =.=lll )
Since it's my last chance, so I'm very worry about that.. worry about my result sucks and make me can't able to continue with degree course later.. Some more, if I really can't do well in the exam, am I really have to stop from studying? Or just simply take some degree courses that I'm not so interest in? Or just give up and tell myself that " not your fault, it's because of you're not suitable in A-level course only.. maybe you still can do well in other course.."? Or I really have to resit for one more semester again?
I really don't know what I'm talking about and even thinking! I'm so confusing now! I don't want just listen those excuses such as I'm not suit in this course or just give up like that! I can't able to believe that I can't do that since I've take the course for almost 1 and half years! How?! What should I do now?!
Mathematics subject has gone, all papers 1, 3, 4, and 6, I can said that there's no one papers that I have did well in math. T.T And the Chem. prac and Bio. prac papers, I really almost want to die, because I don't even have enough time to finished it and some more differentiate wrong the specimen diagram that has given in Bio.prac papers too! ( So as a reminder, better don't believe 100% in the tips given! =.=!!! ) ! As most of my friends and lecturers said that practical papers are not so important, coz it's marks for overall of whole subject are not much, so better do well in others papers to gain more marks to balance the marks that we have lost in practical papers...T.T ( As I know that even the practical also can't able to do well, then how I get the confident for following papers leh... and some more those question papers are so difficult and harder than last time, so the probabilities of my confident for the following papers is almost NEGATIVE! =.=lll )
Since it's my last chance, so I'm very worry about that.. worry about my result sucks and make me can't able to continue with degree course later.. Some more, if I really can't do well in the exam, am I really have to stop from studying? Or just simply take some degree courses that I'm not so interest in? Or just give up and tell myself that " not your fault, it's because of you're not suitable in A-level course only.. maybe you still can do well in other course.."? Or I really have to resit for one more semester again?
I really don't know what I'm talking about and even thinking! I'm so confusing now! I don't want just listen those excuses such as I'm not suit in this course or just give up like that! I can't able to believe that I can't do that since I've take the course for almost 1 and half years! How?! What should I do now?!
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