怎么啦？

有时我发觉我是一个什么是都藏在心里的人，
不是我不说，而是我发觉就算说了也没人可以帮得到我；
有时是没人会听我说...
所以一旦我忍无可忍时一说了出来，
就不是每个人都可以接受得到。

对，我承认我的处理方式不是每个人都可以接受的。
我开始不会怎样去做人了，
也不懂该摆出一个怎样的脸去面对别人。

最近我做出了一个很不理智的做法，
就是隐瞒。
为什么我会隐瞒呢？
第一是，我不想让我那位朋友想太多；
第二，就是不想让太多人知道这件事；
第三是，说太多惹得我朋友不开心，到最后就变成我是惹事的那个人。
但是很明显的是，我又做错了。
以为不说，就能瞒天过海；
以为避开她，待我处理好思绪后再找个机会慢慢说给她听；
很不幸的，被她发现到我的不对劲，惹得她想的更多，
我不懂她有没有说给她男友或她的好友听，
如有的话，惹出这件事的人又是我。

但当我好不容易说了出来后，却得不到任何答复。
现在换我来想她在想什么？她怎样啦？还好吗？生气吗？还是什么啦？
我每天都在想。
甚至还在想，我们还算是朋友吗？？

以为我隐瞒，隐瞒到很开心吗？
我连身边的朋友都没有说出来...
你又懂一个心事憋在心里说又不敢说出来的痛苦吗？！
如果你是我，你又会怎么做？？？

complicated complicated~

First of all happy Chinese New Year to everybody~~
but hor.. don't know why I'm not in cny mood at all! Ish...
why ah?
just know that these few days keeping on followed my parent went to relative's house "bai nian" only...
boring man...=(

and yea, don't know is me think much or what...
I found that the distance between me and another person getting far and far away..
why ah? I don't know why too..
still remembered one of my buddy yen asked me before, why I can be so good with that friend..
and now even me also found that I'm not as close as with that friend anymore...
can anyone tell me why ah?
I just know that is me always try to find that friend for keeping in touch with each other.. but if I didn't find her, I think she won't find me at all...
Under this condition, I think this relationship can't be stay long lo...
Hmmm.. I don't know how to say too.. maybe it's my problem too??

Between, I starting to try to put down some negative thinking...
Coz I found that when I'm feel that I'm the unlucky one, there might be someone more unlucky than me on the another hand..
If compared with them, I think mine one just a small matter..
plus, I should try to make some changes from mistakes, to make it more better..?

不正常的我

有试过好像类似一无所有般的感觉吗？

有试过好像类似人间消失般的感觉吗？

有试过好像迷失自我般的感觉吗？

有试过好像欲哭无泪般的感觉吗？

有试过突然同时间有完以上的感觉吗？

怎么突然觉得自己变得很可悲般？

突然有种不正常的感觉，到底是什么呢？？？






















那就是......突然想去上班！！！哈哈哈！

尤其是那种忙到不可开交那种！！！我无所谓！！

开始又变得不正常了！哈哈哈！！！