24 - 25/10/2012

24/10/12
今天放工在等他来接我～
我上车然后他u-turn时看到我工作过几间，位于转弯处那里有一只狗狗打喷嚏，
刚巧那一幕被他看到了，
他就笑着指着狗狗告诉我它打喷嚏，
结果激怒了狗狗，
被狗狗追着～
吓死我了，
因为我坐在后面啊，
我最怕被狗追，因为我怕它们会跑跑下扑上来==
但另一方面，我们笑到很够力～
哈哈哈
惨了，
下次狗狗一定记住我们了～～

25/10/12
今天是公共假期，没有上班
打算吃了早餐就去打保龄球然后再去看2.20pm的电影-《太极2》
但是打完保龄球后去到KSL那里，已经是差不多2pm,
心想找到parking 来都买不及票了~
因为当天是公共假期，相信人山人海的了~
那就唯有回家，等下下午5点多再出来看6.20pm的那一场吧~

下午5点半差不多要到KSL 时，
小白他们打来问我们在哪里，
要约我们一起看戏吃饭喝茶~
还是on the way 那种~
好吧，我们自己去买我们的票先~
过后买了没多久他们还没来，我们就到处逛逛~
过没多久他们就到了~
但我们没一起看，因为我们看的戏是第2集，
他们也没看上一集，那就唯有各有各看咯~
记得我们进场时他们还在买着票~
怎知道看完的时间差不多一样~
然后我们就一起去吃东西~
吃吃聊聊很开心，我们那桌可以说是笑声连连~=.=lll
但是一聊到我读书的事，我就有点脸色变，
竟然想哭！
他们也有给一些建议我啦~ 但我就是有点控制不到自己~
然后他竟然跟他们讲：不要再讲啦，再讲她又不舍得又要哭的啦~
他几时变得那么了解我啊?=.=lll

过后10点多我们就回家咯~
因为小凉, 小只他们还有下一场~


希望下次再见到他们咯~
怎么说身在远方有朋友比没有朋友好吧~ =)

我怎么到现在还是放不下,

还那么爱哭啊?

真的有点讨厌这样的自己 =(

24/10/2012 =)

昨晚冲凉我洗头了，

然后就像平时那样用吹风筒把头发吹得70% 干，再让它自然风干～

但是到我要睡时头发还有些些湿～

心想到第二天早上头皮一定发痒了，给我抓到掉头皮屑之余就是肯定头痛了～=(

在家的话一定被我妈妈骂，说这样会头风~

但是睡觉时间我又不想再拿风筒出来吹头发～

就想到趴着睡等头发干咯～

他就问我怎么这样睡，我告诉他过后被他命令吹干头发才可以睡～

我不依～就吵他帮我吹～

吵下吵下，他真的拿风筒来帮我吹干头发～ 

这真的令我很窝心=)

到今天早上也没有像平时洗头后的头皮痒和头痛

呵呵，爱死他了～ 哈哈

少说话，多做事

今天跟你说了我做工的事

得不到你的安慰，反而被你说我怎么什么事都往身上扛？

我听到了觉得很不是滋味～

心想，我想的吗？我也很累啊~

顿时觉得很委屈，不想再继续讲了～

我学会了，

我不会再向你说有关工作的事了～ =(

不开心了。=（

很多时候我不喜欢投诉来投诉去，
因为我不想那么多事。
也就是像其他人说的什么事都放在心里。
可以的话，我是希望可以大事化小、小事化无；
但一旦我投诉的来，我就会越来越厌恶...
所以为了避免这样的事发生，
很多事情我尽可能可以忍就忍、可以忘记就忘记、可以不说就不说，
免得越来越多误会或不爽发生。

有时我真的很不喜欢你跟我说话的语气，
每当你说了我之后，
我就会当下很没有mood的感觉，
生气吗？不爽吗？无奈吗？无言以对吗？都有...
你每次都说不喜欢看到我愁眉苦脸的样子，喜欢看我时常笑的样子。。
但你懂不懂我不开心的原因？
我不说是因为我怕我会忍不住当你的面前哭起来，
也有些是因为你的关系，我不想说的那么明白令任何一个不开心，
所以我才会不想说。

就像你昨晚突然对我说的那句话，
我当下很错愕，也没想到你会对我说这句话，
顿时什么mood真的没有了，
或许你会觉得我很记仇，
但我偏偏就是很在意这句话，
我几时不体谅你了，我几时闹过你、勉强过你为我做你不想做的事了？
如果是这样那我就再也不要吵你了。。。

你知道吗？




“有时候语言比拳头更伤人”
这句话是真的。

怎么办？

从我开始实习那天开始，
我就开始发现我越来越不平衡。
不知怎的，就开始想放弃了。

没错，我曾经是喜欢过它，
觉得以后可以学以致用我感到很伟大，很有成就感。
但现在，我越来越觉得不对劲了，
我开始厌倦了，也开始发现到这个中我接收不到的缺点，
第一，我不喜欢不定时的工作时间；
第二，感觉上越来越多人看不好份工；
然而要命的是这些都不是重点，
最主要的是将来，这份工工资对我将来来说可说是入不敷出，
有人大概帮我统计过，如果我日后工资是两千多，
我既要还贷款的钱，也给家用，然而在扣除我的生活费，
我已经没什么钱剩了，更甭说存钱买车，日后结婚组织家庭的钱。
光想到日后的生活，我就开始感到害怕。
就算现在也好不到哪里去，
没错，我的学费是不用烦了，因为我有贷款，
但可笑的是，我的贷款既要还我的学费，也要津贴一些家里费用，
感到用处很广是不是？想到都觉得可笑，
我还跟别人说如果不是贷款我早就生存不到了。
现在还好，只是我一直又一直的支出，
再满的水缸也会有缺水的一天，
那我接下来最后那学期的钱怎么办？
我又怎样一口气吐出我用了那么大数目的钱来还学费呢？

我一旦选定了的事可以很不顾一切的做，
也会很固执的忽视别人的说法，
就像我决定了要修读这课程，除了吓到很多朋友之外，也有很多人不鼓励我进这一行，
因为毕竟工钱少而又不被看好，总而言之就像别人说的没前途“钱途”。
然而我却一直告诉自己要凡是都往好方面想，船到桥头自然直，就可以了。
直到现在我越来越把持不住了。
就算我现在想要放弃也做不出决定，
我觉得很矛盾，也有些不舍得，
也要顾虑到很多事情，不是说想放就放。
好的就说我是经过深思熟虑，不好听的我就是婆婆妈妈。

我真的好想找个人陪，找个人聊，
就算不说话都无所谓，
我只是很不想一个人 =(

无论如何，只要我做得出决定的，
就一定是最后决定，
不会再改变的了！

I dislike the way you talk to me

How many times I feel like to say this.
I think it's almost every time we have some argument,
and after that sure I feel bad in mood then cry~
After cry then tell myself it will alright soon when talk nicer to him later..

Somehow, every time no matter how I feel bad, sad, unhappy after the argument,
I will choose act like nothing after that and find you back.
Because I don't feel like to quarrel with you just because of this.
I thought it may reduce the chance of quarrel or any unhappiness between us~
who knows it's just my thought,
and it just make you more unhappy,
some more you think that I'm not care you as you care me.
You dislike that I just keep quiet when we have some argument;
You dislike that I didn't say something good to coax you back when you're angry/unhappy after the argument;
You dislike that I act like nothing as normal after the argument.
Therefore you said that I didn't care you.

But then did you think that, do you accept what I said during the argument?
Okay, I admitted that it's my fault I didn't coax you back after the argument,
because I also don't feel good and unhappy after that.
some more I don't know what to said.
I thought that find you and chat properly when you feel better after this.
And it might be nicer...
But seem like you dislike it too.
Of course I will angry and sad on what did you said;
Of course I care what did you think~
Just that sometimes I really don't know how to talk to you~

Just now, you make me really feel unhappy~
And finally I show it to you too.
You know why?
As what I wanted to say it out for long time ago and finally I did told you just now
"I DISLIKE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME" and "IT'S REALLY HURT ME" =(

Feel bad in mood.. =(

Yesterday when I having my 1st lecture class in morning..
suddenly my phone rang~ (luckily I put it in silent mode, if not~~)
after that followed by a message~
I'm wonder who will call me at this early morning.
It's him? I think impossible, because he need to work at this period of time.
Family? maybe.. Friends? Who else?
Keep on guessing during the whole class~
After the class over, quickly take out the phone,
saw a message and miss call from him~
What I saw in the message is he get into an accident!
Ha fall down from the motorcycle while going to work!
Then I quickly call him back~
And keep on asking how's with him~ bla bla bla~
I don't even remember what I have been ask..
Just know that luckily he get injured with his right hand and leg..
Overall the most importantly is he's still alright...

After that, just know that all my study mood gone and become very very bad in mood..=(
Feel like to go back and see him immediately if I'm able to do so.
But then I know I can't..
Still remember that it's so difficult for me to stay at uni for whole day long.
Somemore the next day was valentine's day...
All mood gone.. realize that it's not important whether how he celebrate with me during the valentine's day as long as I hope that he's safe all the time..
At night he show me the picture of his injured hand..
Although it's not serious and worst as I think..
But I'm sad and unhappy coz can't with him when the time he need me.
Anyway, thanks god for blessing him and hope that all his bad luck over after this.

新年期间~

今年的新年有些平淡得来但又有些不同~
呵呵呵

除夕夜，
本来他说会来
但因为一些原因又说不来了
初三从怡保来载我去新山
当时是有点失望的咯
但不用尽啦，再等多几天吧~
就这样忙着在家帮忙打扫，洗衣~
然后晚上和伯伯一家人出去吃团圆饭~ =）

年初一，
本来是说好一早十点多上rawang去叔公家~
怎知我跟我妹很迟才起床，因为前晚整晚都有人放烟花
兵兵砰砰的~ 整晚都睡不好咯 @@
结果十点多起来煮面吃了，
十二点多才上rawang~
去到被叫去吃午饭咯~
吃饱过后就看戏，玩狗狗~
其实当时我真的很想倒在沙发睡觉的咯~哈哈哈
因为很无聊咯~
我就闭目养下神，发现要差点睡着了~
就爬起来吃下零食好分散下注意力咯~哈哈
心想这下我完蛋了，肥死了T_T
然后晚上跟他们吃完团圆饭没多久就回家咯~

年初二，
跟年初一一样睡到十点多才起来~
感觉上还是睡得不够~@@
然后有时煮面吃饱了就准备好等姑姑来载我们上rawang去姨婆家~
没办法，我爸跟我妈都是rawang 长大的~
去到那里也是吃午饭的时间~
所以还是吃~我总不能说我在减肥不可以吃吧~
就牺牲下咯~
吃饱了~就坐在那里看戏~
我姑姑跟表姑（她表妹）就一大堆东西讲~
我们这些小的就负责看戏咯~
然后四点多就回家了~ 哈哈~
晚餐我妈妈没煮，竟然买pizza回来吃~

年初三，
本来是要跟姑姑他们去大姑的酒楼吃午餐然后捞生的~
但是我今年没去~ 因为要陪他~ XD
幸好我妈没不爽~
他早上十点多就打来说他在半路了，就快到了~
然后就立刻爬起来准备~
十一点半到了，他还搬了个礼篮来我家~ 见了我家人~ 哈哈哈
由于十二点多我姑姑要来了，所以我们要在她没来之前就要走人~
所以他坐一下我们就走了~
本来直接可以回新山~
但他厉害，把新山家里锁匙留在怡保的家里~
所以吃饱早餐就轮到我驾车回他家拿锁匙~@@
拿了锁匙我们没地方去，而且又很晒~ 就去他朋友家坐坐~
然后呆到六点多就去吃晚餐~ 还叫他另几个朋友出来给我见~ @@
他们在那里聊天，我就一直拿他的iphone来玩游戏~
我一边玩一边笑，他朋友看到我都觉得好笑~@@
然后八点多天黑了就起程回去新山咯~
我们两个轮流驾车，
他由于整晚没什么睡到，一开始驾到出怡保highway最近的休息站就换我驾了~
然后我一口气驾到马六甲~@@
而他就在车睡觉~马六甲过后就换他驾回去新山~
真的有累到咯~可怜他每次找我时都要跑那么远的路程~
心痛他咯 =（
回到去都已经凌晨一点~冲了凉聊一下就睡了~

年初四~年初六
这几天他都一直带我去看戏~
初四我们去看《阿炳》~ 看完后时间还早我们就去逛supermarket~
因为他要我煮粥和煲汤给他喝~哈哈
回到家我用了两个小时煮了鸡粥，煲了个包菜汤，煮了个asam鱼，还有两个鸡腿~
没有错，我们是吃不完~
结果我们十二点多在家看完了dvd又继续吃~ 还是吃了就睡觉那种~
肥死了~T_T
然后初五就厉害，一口气看了两套~
一套是《Journey 2》，由于他姐姐和她男友回来了，晚上我们又看多一套《大魔术师》，
这次是坐 Beanieplex couple seat! 哈哈！
之前时常听同学说，以为只有Sunway 的戏院有~我没想到在JB 也有机会坐到~ XD
然后初六我们就去看《Underworld》，看完了后就去吃晚餐～
以为去吃一下就把我的小包包和钱包放在车上～还是放在车位底下那种～结果在短短五到十分钟就被人爆镜偷了～
当时什么mood都没有了～也反应不过来～他反而还好奇我怎么那么冷静～==
看来他的损失比我还大，但回到他家反而是他安慰我～　>.<

年初日，
我就回家咯～
他还一直叫我不要回～＝＝
回时他还给我一些钱防身～
天啊，不要那么好可以吗？
我会想哭的咯～！='(

虽然只有短短几天，
虽然发生了一些不开心的事，
但讲到尾还是开心的～
希望可以尽快看到他咯～XD

Emo Again =(

Finally I have start my Semester 2 in IMU on 16th January..
Sounds so frustration that I suppose start my degree life for 1 and the half year and now only in Semester 2. ==
Well, it's suppose a more challenging life than in Semester 1..
Actually these few days I seriously tired + stress + frustration + ..... anyway it can considered as COMPLICATED minded again!
Tired is due to I have to took few hours on travelling go and back from uni.. since my classes almost everyday start from 8am or 9am like that TIL 5pm!
So you can imagine how is the condition of packing with other peoples inside the train and how does it getting worst especially when the train was delay...... T_T

Well, suppose these few days I'm very very unhappy~
Got lots of thing happened on~
First is I found that I've lost interest on study anymore...
I don't know is me think too much or it's too long time I didn't touch my book or what..
Even myself also don't know how to describe~
I just feel like to work and earn money and it might be a better way for me and even my family..
Plus I totally can't imagine about my future~
I started to understand how's some people feel when they took the course that they're not interested in~
I scared that I unable keep up with progress in learning~
What I think now is even in sem 2 also feel that, then what about the following sem I need to go through??
Sounds irony right?
Okay, no matter how I know that I need to continue~
Maybe I need time to adapt with that and hope so it's just a temporarily minded.

Second is my dear said he might not came to house on today.
He told me 2 days ago. But he said will still find me on wednesday night.
Seriously I got bit disappointed.
Because I still need to wait for few more days only can see him.=(
But I just can act like nothing and said "okay okay, no problem, as long as you okay with that. =)"
Then today when he call me,
and don't really forget what I've said, (just some kidding as I remember)
he got bit unhappy with that and said want to go sleep.
Suppose I don't feel like to end-up the call so fast..
but no matter how I coax him he just said don't want and want to sleep already..
Like that I really don't know what I can said to him anymore.
So I just can said bye bye to him.
Actually from here I got bit unhappy and frustation.
What I can think is just maybe he too tired so he want to sleep!
Normally when he slept in the afternoon he can sleep for 3 hours like that.
but today after 1 hour he woke up and sms me.
I asked him why so fast get awake, and he just said because I bully him, he feel unhappy so he can't sleep.
LOL~ after that don't know it's me think too much again or what.
Feel like his reply just short and nothing to say to me only.
Aiks.. again..
Sometimes I really don't know what I've said and make him feel unhappy.
I really hate of my stupid!!! =(
But luckily normally this won't lasts for few days,
normally the next day like that will be alright.
Although like that, but it also make me think much for whole night.
I really dislike this feeling. =''''''''''''''''(

Grrr... I don't want emo come to me again!
What I can do now??? =(

失眠夜~~~@@

突然又想到这里了~
不懂为什么，就不想给人知道我现在的心情~
对，我失眠了~
而且还是连续差不多整个星期都持续这样的情形~
之前还说可以勉强睡过去，最多半夜会一直醒来而已~
但今晚，我简直睡不下去！！

怎么会这样？
是我太多烦恼了吗？
告诉他，他说可能是我要开学了太兴奋所以睡不着，是这样吗？
我都不见得，就是完全没有睡意~
最近都很少更新面子书或叉包了~
写在面子书上被我最不喜欢的人看见了，她一定会第一时间报告我妈~
然后一定说一大堆“你女儿什么都写在网上~当然不告诉你啦，不怕你讲她咩~”等等之类的废话~
然后我妈一定问我为什么什么事都要写在网上一大堆事情~
想起来还真的多亏她呢~
叉包上呢？
其实那里是一个蛮好的地方，
朋友都不错，也没有我不喜欢的人~
只是现在我也不敢什么事都写在那里了~
一旦我有什么不如意的事写出来，又或则当我真的有想不通而又不懂怎样告诉别人的事写出来的话~
他，看到了一定会问我什么事~
当我说没事时，他就会说我什么都不告诉他~
我知道他是因为关心我才会一直追问我~
我知道他是想替我分担一些我面对的烦恼~
我知道除了父母和朋友以外，他就是唯一想听我诉苦的人~
我知道，我都知道~
只是很多事情不是想要说就说得出来~ 不是想要说就说得明白~
而且我知道他自己本身也很大压力，也有很多烦恼~
我不想再增添他的压力和烦恼~
不想他替我担心~
我只是想当我/他不开心时都有对方陪着就心满意足了~
可以的话我想在他面前永远都是那么开心的，
我不想给他看到我不开心的样子~

现在不知不觉已经是5.17am，
我还是超精神的~
烦恼吗？没有。
不开心吗？还好。
想太多吗？应该是。因为突然很多事情涌上心头来~
希望开学时有事情给我忙我就不会想太多吧~ =)